My full name is Andrea Nenita Ada. 24. Born in Minnesota, raised on Guam. I’m half Chamorro, and half something else (though I’ve been told it’s Irish), and probably the whitest Chamorro you know. Please allow me to ramble on.
I’m far from complicated, anything but simple. I think of myself as a cliché that’s hardly ever used. How paradox. I tend to love and hate the ironies and contradictions in life. I seem to have a love-hate relationship with many things.
I understand that a lot of the ‘jumps’ I make will cause me to fall. I’m okay with that. More often than not, I’ve picked myself back up successfully (which is really the only choice) and embraced the hurt that may or may not have come along with it, only to become a stronger and more knowledgeable person. I discovered at a young age that life doesn’t always give you second chances, but I’m lucky to have been given many. Eventually I got a little wiser and learned to make the most of the firsts. I’ve also learned that everyone in life is going to hurt me at some point or another. I’ve grown to recognize who was actually worth the pain. The rest get the boot.
I have a plethora of acquaintances but a very few whom I consider to be my true friends. I’m very selective with who I let in to my life—I think many believe I’m closer to them than I personally feel I am. Most people bore me or are deemed as idiots in my book, and I’m really not a fan of small talk. In spite of this, every time I go out to a bar or some public place, it never fails: someone is telling me their life story and seeking advice about their problems… and I listen. I suppose that at the end of the day, I’m a very patient person (except for when I’m hungry).
If I ever really loved or cared about you, chances are that I still do. I’ve just learned to live without you. A lot of people say that relationships are about give and take. I can’t say I agree. Relationships, regardless of what kind you are in, are about give and give. I think it’s a shame that people who change FOR love will never know the joys of changing BECAUSE of it. I believe that love truly is worth fighting for, but I also believe that you should never feel as if you’re losing yourself amidst the fight. Nothing worth having is ever easily attained.
I’m obsessed with almost every show on The Food Network, The Cooking Channel, or whatever food competition show is on TV. I think Anthony Bourdain has the most amazing job in the world. My life’s dream would be to open up my own diner minus having to manage it— I’d rather cook. My diner would then be featured on Diners, Drive Ins, and Dives, Bobby Flay would surprise me saying “Are you ready for a throw down?,” (though I’d settle for being a guest judge), and Paula Deen would invite me to be featured on Paula’s Party. I’m also a realist, so I know that this will never happen. Because of this, in the future I plan to start my own food blog, which will consist of healthy recipe makeovers and indulgences. Sadly, I rarely eat more than a nibble of those indulgences (happily giving them away) in fear of the pounds it’ll pack on. I suppose this would be the greatest of my love-hate relationships.
I’m currently a social worker and a proud one at that. I work with the terminally ill and elderly in a homecare and hospice agency, where I truly feel that I get more than I give. In spite of hating the management, I love my patients. I’m dying to get my Master’s degree, and I miss school. I’d probably be content with being a part time student all of my life. In the future I’d like to work with women and children involved in the criminal justice system, in the courts, in prisons, or post-imprisonment in rehabilitative programs. Eventually I’d like to get in to macro level practice and work on policy change and advocacy efforts in the government, which I believe is the key to solving the root problems that exist in this country. In this line of work, I’ve come to understand that everything, regardless of how big or small, has the potential to change a life around.
I have a tattoo on my arm by Atmosphere that says: “Out of a canvas full of touch ups, I dip my brush into what I’ve wept for,” meaning that everything that’s ever caused me to struggle, cry, or go through pain, has served as a teacher, reminding me of what I’ve been through. I use my experiences to continue to move forward, painting the masterpiece that is my future.
I still struggle to live in the moment at times, but I am taking chances. I am now starting to accept change, rather than trying to push it away. I’ve danced in the rain before, and other times I’ve just gotten wet. It’s been a struggle, but I am coming to accept my flaws. I am forgiving myself for the mistakes I’ve made, and the mistakes I have yet to make. I am starting to live.
-End of Rambling-